When I think back to this time last year, as a senior driving herself crazy trying to figure out which internship to apply for and how to study for five finals and try to pack my suitcase for the holidays and get in hours at work and try to stop once in a while to enjoy my time, one word comes to mind: Stress. 

Then, all I heard this summer while working at the hospital were warning:. “This internship, it will be one of the most stressful years you’ll have. But! You’ll just be so glad when it’s over!”

If only that had prepared me…

I know that right now I’m in the thick of it. Our clinical rotation requires the most of us, and the most of our time.  There’s homework, case studies, and readings on a different topic every week….and that’s simply an attempt to prepare us for what we see every day in the workplace. Not that we’re expected to learn it all and be experts by the end of the 12 weeks, but I feel like I’ve stuffed more into my brain in the last eight weeks (about 2/3 done) than I did throughout  my entire senior year. Reading and learning for a test just isn’t the same as learning so that you can apply it to the patient you help take care of for the next week.

At my hospital, they’re moving me around. There are four dietitians total, and I work with a different one every two weeks. The great part of this is that their responsibilities (re: patient care) are divided up, so I get a taste of everything. After my orientation, I spent two weeks working mostly in general care and oncology (cancer patients), the next two weeks were general care and cardiology (heart stuff), and now I’m into intensive/critical care.

I’ve enjoyed all of the above, but the latter is certainly a category all its own. I still see some of the same illnesses, but on a whole new level.  I’m learning about feeding formulas, calculations/equations to estimate patients’ needs (much different than one that would work for me or you), and another slew of terminology and acronyms to help me look at a chart and understand the information.

It’s a lot to learn at once, but it’s interesting. This time, what I was doing at work actually corresponded with the topic of our homework for the week; “Enteral and Parenteral Nutrition” (fancy words for tube feedings/nutrition support).  My mind has been entirely taken over by it all, trying to soak it in and apply it to real people.  There are times where I feel a little stressed, as this is moving quickly and I want to make sure I actually learn rather than just try to get through the days, but nothing out of the ordinary. 

At least that’s what I thought……

…until I woke up three nights in a row last week, doing tube feeding calculations in my head.

One night it was actually a dream where I had put myself on tube feeding! I woke up completely confused and reaching for a tube to pull out—obviously not there. 

All I can think is…..I guess I reached that point. Stress. It has clearly arrived, in a most unpleasant way.  Something in my mind must’ve thought I needed to be constantly working--day or night, sleeping or awake.

Well, that is not the case. I’m not sure what triggered those episodes last week. Unpleasant as it was, it helped me realize that this internship is not meant to have us thinking so hard about one thing that we’re working in our sleep.  We should be learning, not obsessing.  It’s okay to make breathing room, and use it often.

Luckily our schedules are doing that for us this week, in the form of a holiday break.  I hope you all use it wisely;  take your time back to breathe, relax, and refresh. You deserve it.

Posted by Mary Ellen Nunes at 11/25/2008 01:48:33 PM